Together in Mamahood interview: Jupiter Hadley.

Welcome to another Together In Mamahood interview. With these interviews I aim to serve motherhood realness from the women who understand best… You!

Today I have interviewed Jupiter Hadley about being step mum to three children.

Jupiter nervously messaged me asking if she could still take part in the interview as she's not a 'birth mum'. Whether a biological mum or otherwise, Jupiter is still a parent and this is a space for all mums. I really hope you find Jupiter's perspective as a step mum to be an interesting one.

Together in Mamahood interview.

1. What's one thing you thought you'd never do as a parent, but have done since becoming a mum?

One of the things I never thought I would do as a parent, is allowing our children to have technology at such a young age. When I was little, my parents were super strict on TV time. We didn't have video games at all until I was a teenager, so I always thought I wouldn't cave and just sit them in front of the TV or tablet. This is far easier said than done. Sometimes, on long car rides or just when you need a moment to yourself around the house, it's easier to hand them a tablet or give them the TV remote. And it's actually not that bad! We do still limit their screen time. We have full screen-free days, and load their devices up with learning games, but it's just a rule that I don't really take value in anymore as being an all ending thing!

2. What's the hardest thing about being a mum?

I am a step mum to three lovely children. In my head, I thought the hardest thing was going to be integrating into their lives. I was very nervous to be a part of their lives and had a lot of worries about us getting along and about the dynamic. Luckily, due to these nerves, we worked really hard in the way that I was introduced. e ensured that their feelings were understood, asked, and that we didn't move forward on big decisions until each of them were ready.

This, as it turned out, wasn't actually the most challenging thing for me. Instead it was having a routine. Before I lived with three children, I was a person who didn't have much of a routine. I worked until I felt like not working, I ate when I was hungry, I slept when I was tired. It's not a real schedule that people keep - but kids do need schedules. At first, I found setting and keeping a set schedule was a challenge. Being able to get up early in the morning to help get breakfast made was quite a challenge or me, as I had never liked getting up in the morning. The sleeping adjustments were rough at first! Especially with little ones waking you up in the middle of the night, but eventually it all does even out.

3. How much of your parenting journey do you share online?

This is a bit of a mix bag! Before I had three children, I did share most things online. From around 16, I have lived on Twitter, sharing most of my achievements and lives.

I do continue to share memories that we all make together as a family, funny things that the kids say, and sometimes my struggles with parenting or being a step mother online. I don't share embarrassing photos or deeply personal information about any
of the children online. Both myself and my partner Dann write blog posts about the adventures we go on, positive memories, and general feelings as to being parents on our blog. The kids are quite interested in the blogging themselves. They're super interested in seeing the posts before they go live and taking pictures that we feature in posts, especially Amelia, who loves photography.

4. Tell me about something which has surprised you about motherhood?

The amount of love and understanding children have and the amount of love I have for them. I care strongly about these children, I want what's best for them and want to give them the world. As a step-mother, I didn't think, at first, that we would really connect into a family unit, but we did, very well together. The first time I went away, on a work trip, each evening they were all calling me to tell me goodnight and asking about me. I felt unbelievable loved. When I am not around, they genuinely care for me and ask about me, which is a lovely feeling. They are so understanding as well. I guess I had not thought about or realised how much children are just like little people, with their own emotions and understandings of the world. They are willing to listen and learn and understand.

5. Do you think social media portrays motherhood correctly?

Social media, in every aspect, always leans towards showing the best of
everything. Motherhood isn't an acceptation. A lot of the perfect mothers that I see on social media seem to be doing an impossible amount of tasks. They're able to keep the entire house clean in the process, which I know is something we can only strive for. I think that it's quite nice following more realistic mothers and parents in general. I love watching TikTok compilations of people's beautifully made lunches for their children, but often motherhood is, in general, portrayed as being a stay-at-home carer who seems to be able to do it all, and sometimes that's just not the case.

6. Tell me about your favourite motherhood memory?

It is so hard to find a favourite memory. I really love going on adventures and exploring new places, but whenever I think about the one memory that most makes me smile, it's got to be the first time each of the children said they loved me. It's such a big milestone, as a step mother, to hear that you are loved and fully accepted from your children. Obviously, the youngest was much quicker to trust me and say
that she loved me, but it is still a really special moment. Being fully accepted into their lives and fully loved as a member of the family is amazing.

7. How have you changed since becoming a mum?

I do not think that I have personally changed much. Though my routines and actions have! I tend to spend more time planning and ensuring that things follow order, as well as far more time cleaning! I haven't changed much personally, though I am more patient and willing to explain what I mean differently to people, especially to children who are learning

8. Tell me about your proudest mum moment?

There have been so many proud moments! I think the biggest, for me, has been moments of independence for each child.

For Robin it was when she started putting words together on her own. I had always struggled to read as a child, so I focused a lot on helping her learn letters and sounding out. Seeing her thrive and develop the ability to do it on her own was amazing.

For Amelia, it was when she started swimming, confidently, on her own. We go swimming at least twice a week at the local pool, and she had always hesitated a bit and relied on pool floats. Eventually she started not needing them anymore, instead excited to show off that she could swim without it.

For Kai, the eldest, he is already quite independent, and we are buds, so my proudest moments with him have been quite different. They are more around food (I am a big foodie). Kai has gone from not being a very adventurous eater to wanting to try everything, wanting to know how everything is made, and always loving whatever food I love. I'm quite proud that I have helped nature that love of food

9. What are you most looking forward to in the future for your children?

I am just looking forward to being apart of their lives as they grow and develop into themselves. Watching them grow up, being apart of the memories we are making as a family and continuing to just exist is enough for me. I know we are going to have amazing moments, and I treasure each and every one of them, small or big. I am dreading the day that they no longer want to be read bedtime stories or that they are too big to give hugs before school, so I am just focused on the now and enjoying being apart of our family!

10. Who are your favourite mothers to follow on Instagram?

@threelittlezees are adorable. They are always into the coolest toys and
share so many fun times from their family. I'm currently following Laura's pregnancy journey. Her stories on Insta are so funny and full of memes!

@singleparentpessimist is another account that I love. She has older children and a mixed family. She shares so much about mental health and raising children, that it's a really honest and brave look into the life of a mother!

@lilyslittlelearners is always sharing adorable pictures of her children. Lovely tips on taking care of your family and so many neat things that just seem essential to raising
kids!

If you’d like to get involved in a Together in Mamahood interview feel free to email me on clairemacblog@gmail.com or DM me @clairemacblog. I’d absolutely love to hear from you!

During your Together in Mamahood interview you can answer whatever you feel comfortable answering, all I ask is that it’s honest! I wan’t to show the realness behind motherhood & just how hard it can be… Because we don’t give ourselves enough credit for how difficult it can be!