Navigating mum guilt: How to feel less guilty putting yourself first

As mothers, we often find ourselves torn between taking care of ourselves and our children. But let me let you in on a little secret: Taking care of yourself is taking care of your children. In this post, we'll be navigating the murky waters of mum guilt and figuring out how to strike a balance between self care and parenting. From why self care is important to guilt free ways to carve out time for yourself, we'll tackle it all. So grab your cup of tea (I hope it's still hot) and let's face mum guilt together.

_{[Photo by Fin MacBrayne on Unsplash]}

Navigating mum guilt

Navigating mum guilt can be really difficult. First and foremost however is the importance of remembering you're not alone. Many mothers experience feelings of guilt, and it's important to be compassionate and understanding towards yourself.

Remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish, it's necessary for your overall well being and for the well being of your child.

By putting your needs first, you're not only doing something good for yourself, you're setting a positive example for your child, and setting them up for success in the long run.

Let's dig a little deeper on how we can navigate mum guilt - And feel less guilty putting ourselves first for a change.

The importance of self care

As parents, we often feel like we need to be superhuman in order to keep up with the demands of parenthood. We try to do it all, be it all, and have it all. But the truth is, we can't. And that's okay! In fact, it's more than okay, it's necessary.

Prioritising self care as a parent is essential for our overall well being and it allows us to be the best versions of ourselves for our children. When we take care of ourselves, we have more energy, patience, and a better perspective to tackle the daily challenges of parenting. And let's be real, if we don't take care of ourselves, the only thing we'll have the energy for is to survive, not thrive. Self care doesn't have to be time consuming or expensive, it can be as simple as taking a 5 minute break to breathe, read a book or have a chat with a friend.

It's not selfish to take care of yourself, it's selfless. Because a happy mum means happy children.

Putting your needs first can benefit your child in the long run

It's hard not to feel guilty about taking time for ourselves, especially when we constantly have our children on our minds. But putting your needs first can actually benefit your child in the long run.

For example, when a mother is happy and fulfilled, she is better equipped to handle the inevitable stress and challenges of parenting. She's also more patient, present and understanding with her children. Studies have shown that children of mothers who prioritise their own needs tend to have better social skills, self esteem and are more well adjusted overall. It’s also important to model to our children the importance of self care and self love. By showing them that it's okay to prioritise their needs, we’re teaching them valuable life skills that they can carry with them into adulthood.

So go ahead, book that yoga class, take 30 minutes to read, and don't feel guilty about it.

Finding the right balance between yours & your child's needs

Finding balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of your child can be a tricky task, especially when you're plagued by mum guilt. But it is possible.

One strategy is to set realistic expectations for yourself and your child. We can't be superheroes all the time, and it's important to remember that. It's okay to not have everything together all the time. Another strategy is to schedule "me time" into your routine. This doesn't have to be a big block of time. It can be as simple as taking 5-10 minutes to yourself each day. This could be used for meditation, reading or even just having a (hopefully hot) cup of tea. You could also try delegating tasks to other family members or friends. It can be a way to teach older siblings responsibility and help them develop their own capabilities.

It's important to remember that you don't have to do it all alone, there is no shame in asking for help, support, or advice from friends and family.

Addressing societal pressure on mums

Society has this image of the perfect mother. She's got her shit together, always puts her child first, never gets tired or stressed and always looks like a perfect 10. In all honesty, this is an impossible standard to live up to. Mothers are under constant pressure to be perfect, and this pressure can contribute to feelings of guilt, inadequacy and burnout.

It's important to remember that you are not alone, and that no one can truly live up to these impossible standards. It's important to address these societal pressures and expectations, and to understand that you are doing the best you can.

By acknowledging and understanding these societal pressures, we can begin to break free from them and focus on what truly matters. The well being of ourselves and our children.

Managing mum guilt

Letting go of mum guilt can be a tricky task. But as I previously mentioned, it's important to remember that self care is not selfish. It's crucial.

One way to manage guilt is to practice self compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. Another way to manage guilt is to reframe your thoughts. Instead of thinking 'I'm being selfish by taking care of myself,' try thinking 'I'm being selfless by taking care of myself so that I can be the best version of myself for my child.' Finally, it's important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your self-care routine. It's not about perfection, it's about finding a balance that works for you and your family.

By fostering a positive mindset towards self care, not only can you manage mum guilt, but you can also improve your overall well being and be the best version of yourself for your child.

In conclusion, navigating mum guilt can be challenging, but it's important to remember that self care is necessary. Prioritising self care and striking a balance between taking care of yourself and taking care of your child means you can improve your overall well-being and set a positive example for your child. Remember to be kind to yourself, set realistic expectations, and don't hesitate to reach out for support. You're doing the best you can, and that's all that matters.