Why I hate the term 'mum boss' & think it shouldn't be glorified.

As a self employed mother of two I've been called a 'mum boss' on a number of occasions. It's always said as a compliment & in admiration for the amount of plates I'm spinning at any one time. My lifestyle is praised and glamorised, but the term couldn't be further from the truth.

Being a 'mum boss' isn't glamorous. What I do isn't glamorous. It's bloody hard work. There's no blood, or sweat, but let me tell you there's been a whole load of tears at times. Let me tell you why the term mum boss needs to go into room 101... Immediately.

Mum Boss: A badass woman who raises babies & grows businesses. Takes charge of the day and gets the job done. Someone who is gentle yet deliberate while leading by example.
urban dictionary

I'm not gentle, nor am I deliberate. I don't take charge of the day and very rarely get my jobs done. I'm not the mum boss I'm made out to be. I'm just a normal working mother trying my best to get through the day.

The downsides of being a mum boss.

I've been self employed for just over a year now. Although I didn't have the smoothest start I've certainly learnt a lot during my first year of being a freelance blogger. There's a lot of things I love about my career choice. But there are more than a few things that really grind my gears...

I can't switch off.

It's not uncommon for a self employed person to be unable to switch off. My problem as a mother is that any time I get away from my children, for example during nap times or when they've gone to bed, I spend frantically working. And anytime I get away from working I'm of course with my children.

I don't have any chill & I don't know how to relax. Not that it feels like I can or should as I'm constantly switched on.

There are no sick days.

We recently had covid as a family. Families that quarantine together, stay together right? Whilst my Husband, who works a usual 9-5 role was able to call in sick, little old me was still working away.

I feel like I'm unable to take sick days as time away from work essentially means time away from money. This mentality although I think understandable can be incredibly damaging. It's certainly not a boss mum leading by example.

The hours are horrendous.

Parenting two children is very demanding. It's a full time job (and then some) in itself which means my working hours are very limited. No two days are the same. Some days I do feel like a mum boss (bleugh) and others I wallow in my own self pity.

Take today for example, I was up with the baby at 3.30am. After feeding and changing she's usually awake for 1.5-2 hours. It's a pain in the ass, but it's a life we've become accustomed to. This means I was working this morning for an hour from 4am-5am. I don't need to you tell me that that's not normal. My day was really full on so I didn't get to sit back down at the laptop again until they'd both gone to bed at 9pm. By this point I've already clocked off for the day so only managed another hour of work as I was on countdown to the night feed.

My working hours are a struggle at the moment. Although I'm hoping it's not for long once my baby starts sleeping through the night. Pray for me!

The demand to be good at everything.

As a blogger I have to have my finger in a lot of pies. With the demand to be present across a number of different social platforms comes the inevitable disappointment that I can't be good at everything.

Instagram in particular is my biggest struggle at the moment. I understand the amount of work that does into being good at Instagram. But that certainly feels like a full time job in itself. One I can't quite accommodate for right now.

The lack of pride in my appearence.

When i worked a regular job I used to take pride in my appearance. I'd do my hair and make up every morning to make myself presentable for the day. Nowadays things are much different. I can't remember the last time I wore makeup. And it's very rare I don't wear my hair in a mum bun (gah, I hate that term).

It's not that I don't care, it's just that I can't be bothered. There's no real need for me to get dressed up now. My kids couldn't care less what I look like.

My appearance certainly doesn't convey that of a mum boss. Don't believe what my Instagram feed tells you, come over to my stories! Then you'll get the real me.

It's a constant job search.

For me this is one of the worst things about being a full time blogger. We don't get things handed to us on a plate. We have to job search on the regular and it can be incredibly exhausting. It's hard work. The hustle isn't glamorous in the slightest. In fact most days it can feel incredibly beggy.