5 Important things to consider when choosing a secondary school with your kids

_{[This is a guest post written by The Doubting Thomas]}

The summer holidays went by in such a flash and we're hopefully in a world now where schools will no longer be massively interrupted by the idea of a global pandemic - great news! However now we've got a huge decision to make about secondary school!

For so many parents, we've seen our kids (and ourselves!) showing such resilience, strength and a great will to learn in the face of such confusion and adversity over the last couple of years. We hope that they will never have to go through something like that again and that they can look forward to their future school years without any further interruptions!

A decision that has been extremely difficult for us over the last number of weeks and months has been deciding on a secondary school for our daughter who is heading into Year 6 (for any readers not based in the UK, she's almost 11).

Choosing the right secondary school if massively important; how our kids get on at this school COULD massively shape their future, their career and even what kind of young person they turn out to be.

I wrote a post about this on my own blog, looking at ways we can help our kids make the all important secondary school choice. If you're interested in reading this, you can find the post here. In this previous post, I glossed over some of the things to consider talking about with your kids, but in the one I've chosen to write today I can now draw on specific questions we have asked ourselves as parents and considered for our daughter when trying to make the right decision.

_{[Photo by MChe Lee on Unsplash]}

What does secondary school mean for our kids?

For anyone reading this from across the pond or anywhere else outside the UK, secondary school comprises of Year 7 to Year 11 inclusive; however the big difference from when I was at school is now our kids have to stay in some form of compulsory education until they're 18, which wasn't mandatory for us at the time.

Due to the fact that they need to stay in education for longer, it's even more important for us to make sure we consider as much as we possibly can when deciding which secondary school to choose.

As I said, we've been through this choice fairly recently and making the decision wasn't easy.

Secondary school is a massive jump from the Infant and Junior schools, and to be honest our kids won't really know how big a jump it is until they're there. Secondary school will help to show our children what they're really interested in and will potentially set them on the path to their career. As well as this, secondary school will teach them so much about themselves as individuals, and could help them find friends for life.

Let's take a look at some of the very real topics we've considered when it comes to choosing the right school for our daughter; I sincerely hope some of this advice can relate to parents in the same position!

5 Things to consider when choosing a secondary school.

1. Don't get too influenced by your own negative experiences.

Many of us will be in the position where, unless we've moved away from the area we grew up in, we will be considering sending our children to the same secondary school that we attended.

Now I'm imagining that for a lot of us, school was a fairly pleasant experience. I mean, we may not have thought it at the time but upon reflection for some of us, secondary school brings us some positive memories.

However, in some instances, secondary school may not be looked upon too favourably for any number of reasons.

Whilst it's understandable that we wouldn't our children subjected to the same, we also have to remember that times have changed since we were at school. We're living in a much different world and I feel it's important that we don't get too hung up on what we went through and try to focus on the possibility of that same school in a whole new way.

For example, I went to a mixed school whilst my wife went to an all-girls school. We both had relatively happy times there and some not so happy periods there too. Whilst the mixed school is not an option for our daughter, the all-girls school remains a viable one, and therefore my wife has passed down some of the things she remembers from her time there.

But with that, it's also extremely important we look with a fresh pair of eyes. It's been 15 years plus since we LEFT school, let alone started there, and it's likely that so much has changed there. I don't think it would necessarily be right of us as parents to talk about lessons we didn't enjoy, teachers we didn't get on with, or lunches we didn't like, because that's over and done with now.

Instead, it's time to hit the reset button, do your research as if you know nothing about the school as you once knew it. It'll benefit both you and your child to look at things from scratch!

2. No question is a stupid question.

We have to remember that we've done the secondary school thing; we've been there, done it and some of us may still physically have the t-shirt.

However, for our little ones, it's all so new.

Even if they have older siblings already in secondary school, we need to treat each child as an individual when it comes to choosing the right place for them.

As infants and juniors, our kids have a particular knowledge about how school runs. They will generally have classes all in one place, all taught by maybe one or two teachers, whilst some subjects wouldn't have even been really touched on yet.

Secondary school changes all of those perceptions; there's a greater need for organisation, to know what classes you have and when, and to plan your day every day. There's a huge emphasis on homework and coursework and there's so much that they haven't experienced yet.

So of course, let them ask questions.

Yes, you probably won't be able to field everything, but you'll be able to have an open
conversation regarding some of the things that you know secondary school will bring for them.

_{[Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash]}

3. Remember that everyone's going to grow up.

Having trouble with other kids at school? It's fairly possible.

What we have to remember is that, before going to secondary school, kids have spent years finding their places and voices inside their junior school. Friendships are formed and on the flip side, you have the kids you'd ideally like yours to stay away from too.

It's normal for our kids to be a little apprehensive when it comes to thinking about who they might be possibly going to school with, but what we have to remind them is that secondary school is a much, much bigger place.

I remember clinging onto the people I went to junior school with for dear life for the first couple of days, understandably a little nervous around new people. However, I soon started to form new friendships, and those potentially troublesome people from your old school will most likely do the same.

4. Consider the social side too.

As much as secondary school charts our kids' progress academically, there's also so much more we will learn about them during this time. We'll most likely figure out what hobbies and skills they'll develop, as well as both what and who they're passionate about.

If your child already knows what they want to do with their lives at the age of 11 or 12, more power to them. Encourage them to focus their mindset on whatever they need to learn and to achieve in order to follow their chosen path. But for me, secondary school was so much more than just grades and lessons; it was after school clubs, the football team, representing the school against other schools, performing in shows, letting loose at lunchtime and casting off the shackles of sitting at a desk for an hour or so.

All of that had so much to do with what was generally a positive secondary school experience, and I think it's especially important to encourage our kids to focus on what else they can get out of school too.

5. Try to look ahead.

Finally, and I know I've touched on it already, it's important to think about what our kids ultimately want to get out of it.

Now, the vast majority of our children probably won't start their secondary school journey with much of an idea about what they might want to do when they turn 18 (whether that's continue with their education, go out to work etc.). It's not really until they choose their options that they'll be able to truly work towards it in the eyes of the school.

The good thing now is that schools offer a smorgasbord of options for their pupils to choose from and the variety is growing; Childcare? You got it. Psychology? Go for it. There's much more on offer than just the basic subjects.

With that, I'd say it's important that we help our children stay grounded. I firmly believe that any profession is achievable if you set your mind to it, but they will need to know just how hard they would potentially need to work to make their dream job a viable one. Without trying to talk them out of it, I mean.

For example, it's handy to tell our kids at the age of 11 that if they're hell-bent on becoming a doctor? That's wonderful. However, it won't just fall into your lap after school is over; there's potentially years of additional study ahead of them after that.

With so many important years spent at school, our kids will inevitably learn so much. It's crucial for us to remember that the 10/11-year-old kids we send in for their first day in September will quickly adapt to their new routine and will only go on to grow stronger from there.

[Photo by Dawid _{^{Małecki on Unsplash]}}

This post may obviously not resonate with everyone. However, I hope it gives an insight to parents in a similar situation to me in the next year or so, of some of the things you may need to talk over and remind your kids of before choosing a secondary school!

_{[This is a guest post written by The Doubting Thomas]}