As parents, we have a hugely influential role in helping nurture positive relationships between our children. By encouraging activities that champion teamwork, encourage fun and give kids the tools to figure out disagreements for themselves, we can help build a strong and healthy sibling bond.
[Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash]
Strong sibling relationships are said to have an effect on how children interact with other people; Whether that’s teachers, friends or even later on in life with partners and work colleagues.
As parents, there are a few things we can do to help encourage a strong bond.
How to build a strong sibling bond
1. Do Not Compare Your Children
First and foremost as parents, we must try not to compare our children. Saying things like ‘I wish you’d listen as well as your sister does’ or ‘your brother would never act the way you do’ will only harbour negative feelings and emotions.
Comparing your children could lead to sibling rivalry, and won't encourage sibling bonding. Understanding that every child's development is different, and praise will look different for each child is vital for shaping your children's relationships.
2. Encourage listening skills
The ability to really listen to what someone else is saying is actually a pretty difficult task. Even for some adults!
Make a point of having your children really listen to one another. This will help build empathy, gratitude and a stronger sibling bond. Working on their listening skills can also help to improve sibling relationships by allowing them to understand each child's personality and can teach kids to work out arguments between themselves.
3. Teach children to appreciate differences
Our differences are what make us all unique.
By educating our children that their differences are a good thing we’re cultivating a level of respect, not only for one another but for other people too. Raising a respectful child is a core skill and personality trait which will help them throughout life.
4. Show them how to respectfully disagree
Similar to appreciating each other's differences, it’s beneficial to teach your children to disagree respectfully.
People who get on can still have opposing views. It’s how we deal with those disagreements which affect our relationships and emotions.
Sibling relationships can be rocky, particularly at a young age. Teaching them how to disagree and resolve conflicts, is key for the whole family and important for establishing good sibling bond and a lifelong connection between your children.
5. Nip sibling rivalry in the bud - Quickly!
Do your children squabble over your attention? Perhaps it’s when they’re bored, or maybe they’re competing against one another. Maybe the older sibling isn't used to having to share you with their younger sibling? Wherever their sibling rivalry stems from, it’s worth getting to the bottom of it quickly!
Once you’ve discovered the route of the problem it’s your job to tackle it. Perhaps you need to spend one on one time with each child? Or look into more team bonding exercises? As their parent, you’ll know how best to resolve any issues.
Do your children have a good sibling bond? Do you yourself get on with your siblings?
I've never really thought about all the extra things you need to think about when you have more than one child, I bet sibling rivalry can be a bit testing!
Amy x
callmeamy.co.uk
Some good tips to help with sibling bonds. It's important to nip the sibling rivalry in the bud very quickly! x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
We have two boys and I try to do something along the lines of "positive gossiping" so when I'm changing my little one's nappy and his brother is doing other things in his room or the lounge, I'll try to be like "Did you know what X did? He was so lovely and friendly when he did......" Similarly try to do it with the older one and to my husband - did you know *insert kids name* did earlier....? The idea being that I'm not just telling my husband the naughty things but I'm also telling him the positive things too.
J is getting really good at including R with playing even though R is still so little in comparison. Sometimes J gets stressed or R might not listen but when they are getting on its really sweet. J also has a way of getting R to help with his chores.... but R thinks it's great because he gets to do big boy stuff with J and hang out etc. I think as J gets older then R might become the annoying little brother but I'm hoping that we can keep this bond nurtured and when possible they will want to hang out with each other.
These are some great tips. I bet it's SO nice as a parent when your children get along with each other and also when they're adults and have their own lives. My partner and his sister are really close and it's lovely x
I'm not a parent yet, but I wholeheartedly agree with your advice, especially the one about not comparing your children. As the only child in the family, I grew up hearing my parents compare me to neighboring kids or cousins. I've learned so much from my childhood, and I don't want my children to go through the same thing 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing these lovely advices x
Flora is an only child so no sibling rivalry to worry about - but what you say about not comparing children is SO valid as they grow up. Mums are the worst for this, haha! x
Thank you for sharing such an informative post. I loved all of the points you've shared, especially the first one. Comparing children could definitely lead to sibling rivalry, and as you mentioned, development and praise looks different for every child.
These are great tips and so important for strengthening that bond between siblings.
These are some really great tips, definitely going to take them into consideration as my two get older! x
Gemma Louise
Sibling rivalry - such a funny one isn't it! Some parents think it's healthy but it's a big NO NO in my book!
Rosie