Body confidence after babies: Mum's can still be sexy!

AD. There are a number of difficulties which arise once you've had a baby. And spoiler alert, but very little of them actually include the baby. Postpartum confidence struggles, in particular body image issues are incredibly common.

It's not widely spoken of but It's totally normal to feel like you're existing in a body that isn't your own. Just like it's totally normal to not snap back into feeling like 'the old you' - Spoiler alert part two, the old you has gone! But who you are now is incredible! I'm going to be acting as your biggest cheerleader, filling you with body confidence and telling you exactly why you're badass sexy mum!

I get it if you've totally just scoffed into your lukewarm (probably cold) cup of tea. You're probably thinking, I'm a mum, how the hell can I be sexy? I thought the same! It's been a journey and it still very much is a journey. But I've got a few tips and tricks that will make you feel every bit of amazing as you are. Just call me your postpartum body positivity angel.

Postpartum body confidence.

There are a number of reasons we lack body confidence after having babies. Let's have a look at those reasons and how we can overcome them.

We see ourselves only as mothers.

It's so hard to see yourself as anything other than a mother, especially in the early days and even more so if you're breastfeeding your baby. It's easy to feel like a milking machine. We're mothers and that's both the hardest and best job in the world, but we're so much more that that!

I challenge you to write down three things you are outside of motherhood?

I am:

1. An author
2. A homeowner
3. A community advocate

I see myself as a mother. I'll always say that I'm a mum first and foremost, but I can also see me for me... And it's fantastic! Seeing myself as Claire, as well as a mother has been fantastic for my mental health. I wish I could project this confidence onto all women.

Our bodies no longer look or feel like they used to.

We no longer look like we used to. It's a o brainer! Of course we no longer look like we once did. Our bodies have been through something incredible (incredibly difficult) during pregnancy, we're never going to just snap back.

I have cute little stretch marks on my thighs, stomach and boobs. They're iridescent in water. There's something almost magical about them. My stomach is also more pronounced after my second baby. It's soft, bouncy and squishy. It must have been a really great home for my girls.

You might have weight gain, extra cellulite or stretch marks. Who cares? Your body doesn't make you, you. You make you you, and you're absolutely bloody fabulous.

Social media pressures to 'snap back'.

Social media plays a huge part in the idea of a woman's body snapping back straight after childbirth. I hate it. I hate the term 'snap back'. Everything about the notion makes me feel all kinds of icky. Our bodies are celebrated in pregnancy and then dropped after giving birth. It's no wonder we have postpartum body image issues.

There are plenty of pressures that come with being a new mom, we don't need Instagram telling us we need to lose that little bit of baby weight.

7 Ways you can gain postpartum body confidence.

Separate your self worth from your appearance.

You are not your body! In fact, your body is the least interesting thing about you. Understanding that your body has no reflection on your self worth is one of the most important things for propelling confidence.

Talk to yourself like you would your best friend.

Think about the last negative thought you had about yourself. Would you say this to your best friend? I bet you wouldn't. We all need to be kinder to ourselves as new mums. We've gone through so much, the last thing we need is our heads battling our bodies.

Play around with fashion.

Before children I loved playing around with fashion. After children I covered up in anything I could find that'd hide all my lumps and bumps. Time has been a great healer and now after experimenting with fashion (of course making mistakes along the way) I've been able to redefine my personal style as a mum.

Tailor your social media feeds.

Social media can be extremely triggering. Not only for our mental health and body image issues, but also for making us feel like pretty naff parents. If you need to unfollow or block somebody because their Instagram feed makes you feel negatively about yourself then you should 100% do it. The beauty of social media is that we can curate our feeds, follow and see only the things we want to see.

There are some great amazing women out there portraying a fabulous postpartum body image. Some of my favourites include:

• Charlotte - @charlottejonesie
• Alice - @alicejanepotter
• Billie - @billieleanne

Forget about numbers.

The numbers on the scales have absolutely no relevance to how good you look. Postpartum body confidence should stem from how you feel. I'm sure you've seen the images of different women all weighing the same, but all looking completely different. I think that just goes to show that the number on the scales is BS.

Dance like nobody's watching.

Let's let loose! What's your go to tune that gets you up on the dance floor? Sure, it might be 11oclock in the morning, but get it on. Move your body around and get those endorphins flowing. If your kids are old enough, get them involved too. I can 100% assure you that dancing to your favourite tune will most definitely make you feel good about yourself.

Indulge in some great lingerie.

A sure fire way to feel like the boujee sexy mum that you are is with some incredible nightwear or lingerie. And lingerie for yourself, not for anybody else! A lacey bralette will not only make the girls feel comfortable (milking jugs are HEAVY) but paired with matching lace pants, you'll look incredible. If you're not quite ready to bare all, a floor length dressing gown means you can show exactly what you want to show. You're in control mama and that's sexy!

This post is in colaborration with IDentity lingerie, so let me tell you a little more about this fantastic brand.

IDentity lingerie.

IDentity lingerie is a small family run business based in Lincolnshire in the UK. Their products are ethically and sustainably handmade in Europe using high quality fabrics in an environmentally friendly manner.

Because their products are handmade it allows each individual piece to be treated like a custom order. There is so much care and attention put into their lingerie ensuring that they'll stand the test of time, making you feel fabulous for such a long time.

 “The impeccable stitch, the ideal fit, the best material and the perfect design.”

IDentity lingerie

My IDentity lingerie picks.

I chose the black lace bralette, matching pants, lace and satin dressing gown and silk pyjamas. I'm a complete creature of habit. If you look in my underwear drawer you'll see a sea of black and only black undies. I love black lingerie, I feel amazing in black lingerie. So of course I had to follow suit with my choices from IDentity lingerie.

I'm beyond thrilled with the quality of IDentity's lingerie pieces.

I love the fit and how comfy the bralette is. Because it's a halter style, I feel totally secure and the longer length to it means I'm a bit more covered and less self conscious. The pants are incredible too, the detailing on the back is insane - And a little too spicy to show you in this blog post - But let me assure you, my bum has never looked better! I can't believe this is my own body. I feel guilty for beating myself up for so long over my appearance. The dressing gown is like nothing else I own. I feel so confident parading around the house in it. Like the bad ass boujee queen I am. And the pyjamas are a complete luxury! Literally one of my life goals is to own silk pyjamas (small dreams I know) and now I do, they're every bit as amazing as I thought they'd be.

4 Ways you're already a sexy mum.

To finish todays body confidence post I wanted to tell you why as a mother you're already sexy as hell... Because I bet you've never thought of yourself this way post children.

1. There's two sides to you.

By day you're mumming, spending time playing with the kids. By night you can be somebody totally different. Like a sexy double agent!

2. Your confidence exudes sexiness.

Confidence is the most sexy thing in my opinion. As a mum you're powerful and empowered. You gain a new found confidence in yourself and your abilities. You're confidence means already a sexy mum!

3. You understand your body better than ever.

There's something about understanding your body which makes you more confident than ever. Your body's been through something incredible and you've achieved so much by giving birth. You're incredible!

4. You're hot!

Postpartum bodies are amazing bodies! We're softer, curvier and more powerful than ever! You birthed a baby for goodness sake. You're basically a superhero! You need to own your baby body because it's a beautiful thing.

Did this post leave you feeling empowered? I really hope it has. How did you find adjusting to your new body? What do you think of the lingerie featured in this post? Do let me know. And let's get chatting about post baby body confidence.