AD. Imagining the entrepreneurial spirit of Dwight Schrute from The Office, this article explores humorous side hustles suited to his eccentric personality. From construction work and landscaping to a beet-based food business and martial arts dojo, each idea reflects Dwight’s obsession with discipline, self-sufficiency and building an unconventional business empire.
Dwight Schrute and His Unique Side Hustles
Who doesn’t love the zany, eccentric, and unpredictable Dwight Schrute? The legendary character from the longstanding American sitcom The Office. Regular office workers may not exhibit the same tomfoolery as Dwight nor serve as fodder for daily entertainment.
We all know Dwight as an exceptional paper salesman or as Assistant (to the) Regional Manager for the fictional Dunder Mifflin. But living with the reality of an unpredictable economy and trying to keep things afloat, imagine him investing in side hustles when he’s not selling paper by the ream. The eccentric perfectionist that he is, the question comes down to which side hustle or two would he excel at best?
In this article, let’s step into Dwight’s shoes and explore the 5 side hustles that are perfect for his character.
1. Construction Supervisor
It’s hard to picture Dwight, all bearded and scruffy-faced in grubby overalls, far from the prim and proper shirt-and-trousers look he carries as a sales professional.
It’s also hard not to expect him to lecture the site manager on why Norfolk aggregates are better than washed grit sand as the foundation layer (when he’s not aggressively competing to get promoted to Assistant (to the) Site Manager).
For him, every construction project must be built with military-grade precision. If it’s a residential housing project, don’t be surprised if he manipulates the blueprints and project plans to include a watch tower and a hidden escape tunnel.
You want houses? You get defensive fortresses disguised as houses. When questioned, he’ll likely respond, “You build it for people, I build it for siege warfare!”
When all the other workers leave the construction site for the day, don’t expect him to leave with them. Not trusting anyone easily, Dwight volunteers to stay back to protect the heavy equipment and spend the night in the anti vandal cabins from Northumberland. You’ll also find his cousin Mose following him around, giving him company. As a trained martial arts instructor trained in gyo-ju ryu karate, you can trust him to serve and protect, with a side of unnecessary over-engineering.
2. Landscaping Artist & Garden Specialist
Dwight runs Schrute Farms with his cousin Mose, where they grow beetroots and hemp. But after years of perfecting his hand at growing produce, he’s a certified (questionable!) landscape artist and garden & irrigation specialist.
Trusting Dwight with a landscaping project automatically activates his farming instincts. It’s only a matter of time before he turns an ordinary garden structure into something elaborate and unthinkable.
Dwight would readily use modern automatic watering for polytunnels and irrigation lines with the neat precision that military officers would design on battlefields. Expect him to defend his choice of irrigation system and lecture customers on building agricultural efficiency with strategic watering systems, complete with hand-drawn diagrams, while proudly brandishing his prized collection of beets.
Watch him working on the project, his quirkiness in all its glory, as he hums, 'Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica”.
3. Military-Themed Bed & Breakfast
Continuing in his pursuit to supplement his primary career as a sales professional, let’s assume he expands his Schrute Farms into a full-fledged Bed and Breakfast, but with a military theme. If you’re expecting a cosy, rural escape in the countryside, be ready to be surprised (or shocked)!
While he continues to promote agritourism, Dwight pushes the military-style activities and amenities because he feels people need to be more active when on holiday. The multifaceted person that he is, he begins renovating the place.
First, he replaces regular room doors with aluminium and fire doors from Doorway Services. Mainly because he knows commercial doors are more durable and long-lasting than rustic wooden ones. And they also stick to the military theme.
Next, he would paint the walls in khaki green and beet red “inspired by historic battles and wars his ancestors fought”.
Last but not least, he would ensure the BnB is absolutely spotless throughout. From the bedroom floors to the bathroom tiles, he would make sure the guests followed strict cleanliness instructions.
So rather than relaxing and being waited on hand and foot, expect to follow a strict military-style routine very similar to a farming boot camp. He won’t blink twice before handing you industrial-grade patio cleaners with high-strength disinfectants to scrub off any bacteria you may bring before and after entering. Also expect him to inspect the area like a tactical commander, analysing the opponent's movements.
4. Beet-Based Food Business
Nature has blessed the Schrutes with fertile soil and a good harvest of beets for a long time. So instead of consuming all the delicious beets he grows at Schrute Farms, Dwight decides to stretch his agricultural dexterity and his beet empire into food entrepreneurship.
With a mission to bring back beets into the everyday diet, he launches his very own food business and names it “Nothing Beats Beets” with the tagline: Spinach is for Sailors, Beets are for Warriors. (And yes, those who book a room at Schrute Farm’s Bed and Breakfast get to sample it for free, but only after they complete 30 full spiderman push-ups.) It’s no surprise to anyone that this food outlet is located inside Schrute Farms, tactically saving Dwight multiple pounds in transportation costs.
Naturally, his product portfolio would include everything beets. From beet burgers, dehydrated schrute beet soup, pickled combat beets, and something as intimidating as tactical beet protein, which is nothing but beetroot mash with protein powder.
To promote his “home-grown” business, he would spend most of his time standing outside the shop explaining that beetroot was the next superfood when all they wanted was a free sample. When any potential customers cast doubt on the long history of beets in World War 2 or on how they helped Roman soldiers regain their strength in the Trojan War, he would challenge them to a karate match.
5. Martial Arts Dojo
Speaking of martial arts, if Dwight had the chance, he would also attempt to run a training centre or dojo. With credentials and certifications (mostly self-awarded), he would probably name it the Schrute Battle Ready Institute. Expect him to launch with a vision and unwavering commitment to teach discipline, self-defence, and combat readiness for modern society.
Those who join these classes can expect a mix of repeated dramatic poses and aggressive gibberish chanting, which sounds less Japanese as the lesson progresses. You’ll also often find him demonstrating moves that suspiciously look like a bad improvisation from The Karate Kid series. Don’t be surprised to find him bowing to his senseis on the wall space: Po from Kung Fu Panda, Jackie Chan and Mr Miyagi!
His students will often find him pausing frequently mid-lesson to deliver motivational speeches, much like the one he delivered when accepting the award for Northeastern Pennsylvania Salesman of the Year.
Parents watching from the sidelines prepare to be alarmed as he explains to his students that the best form of defence is striking before your opponent least expects it, which is much before the fight has begun.
Even if no legitimate martial arts association recognises his designation as Regional Manager/Sensei, his students will surely enjoy his eccentric behaviour and antics.
To Sum Up
By Dwight’s philosophy, a side hustle is not for supplementing your income. It’s more about building a business empire out of a mere side hustle. He invests his time, passion, and dedication in running a venture with the same intensity and commitment that earned him the title of the most dedicated paper salesman at Dunder Mifflin.
For him, there’s no such thing as a “small job”. Every effort counts, no matter how unusual the method used, even if it means making a thriving business out of possibly the least-favourite root vegetable in the world!
