Tuesday, 4 September 2018

Lifestyle | Adjusting To My Pregnancy Body

If you told past Claire that in 2018 she'd be married with a baby on the way, she'd never have believed you... Maybe not even in a million years. Granted of course the marriage part was planned, but the pregnancy part, well I thought it was never going to happen for us.

I came off the pill January 2015 so my hopes for us falling pregnant naturally were lessening more and more as the years went by. I'm telling you that first in the hope you can appreciate my anguish before I spill the tea on how I'm really feeling about my new pregnancy body.

Because I was in two minds about whether to write this post or not - I understand it's a sensitive issue.
Hand on heart I've never been 100% body confident... I don't know how many of us really are. If you are I commend you, and I for one am bloody well jealous of you. I spoke a little while ago about my body hang ups, which looking back now at my insecurities feel like a world away from where I am now... Truth is when I look at the person staring back at me in the mirror, she has a body I don't recognise. What's happening to me is such an amazing and beautiful process, but at the same time it's the most bizarre, mind boggling thing.

Pregnancy is weird!

The physical changes and how the way I view my body changing has been a bit of a roller coaster for me over the last 25 weeks. The angel on one shoulder tells me pregnancy is an amazing thing & I should be grateful (which I really really am) whereas the devil on the other fills me with questions and self doubt. Truth is I've always been slim & have had the same body shape & weight for probably the last ten years or so... You could say I'd gotten comfy with my body & who I was - I'd accepted who I was & what I looked like.

I've found adjusting to the changes quite hard.

My ever expanding stomach is becoming heavier and heavier as the days go by. You can often find me grunting away trying to get comfy, and trust me, it takes me a while to get comfortable these days, even more so on an evening. Dan goes mad, come 8 o'clock I literally can't sit still, he thinks it's annoying for him, but for me it's ten times worse.
I'm struggling with dizziness and feeling light headed - I've spoken to a few people about this who believe what I'm suffering from is low blood pressure, something I'm going to ask my midwife about later on today actually. I find my dizziness is heightened if I'm busying myself or doing too much, a sign I know that my body is doing more than what it should be. I've found adjusting to what my body can't do anymore, to be really difficult.
The change I'm most surprised by is my fitness levels: I've never been massively into the gym or fitness, but I eat well & am out walking with Willow every day so I'd like to think I do my bit, albeit not much but still. What usually would be a half an hour walk around the park now takes at least 45 minutes and when we get back I am absolutely 100% shattered! Speaking which, I'm so tired in general these days! I was reading that tiredness supposedly wears off during the second trimester, however for me I feel like this isn't the case.

In the grand scheme of things if tiredness is one of my only pregnancy symptoms, I think I've gotten off pretty lightly! But the body I have now isn't one I recognise & I think it's that which weirds me out.
So how have I been trying to overcome my new pregnancy body hang ups?

Putting myself in others shoes - Never in a million years have I looked at another pregnant person and thought it was anything other than amazing! Over the last six months I've found a new respect for pregnancy & the changes a persons body goes through so I've been trying to give myself the mindset that what's happening to me actually is amazing... Which it most definitely is!
We've also been photographing & documenting how my body has changed over the last 25 weeks. We're hoping to make a time lapse style video when baby's here & I can't wait to see the end result. Both the video & baby!
And finally it goes without saying that talking to other people about how you're feeling is amazing. Honesty is the best policy & reaching out, speaking to others who may or may not be feeling the same works wonders. It's amazing to know that you're not alone. And that's the main reason I'm writing this blog post.

At the moment I view my body as more of a vessel for our baby, it's just doing the job it needs to do for nine months & although I don't quite feel like myself, I'm 100% aware of how lucky I am to be experiencing this feeling. I can't help but feel guilty for feeling the way I do about myself - It's a really difficult one to explain & one I hope I've conveyed well and not rambled too much about.

Have you ever felt the same as me during pregnancy?

Claire. X

Have you read my previous posts?


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1 comment

  1. Claire, you look fab and as you quite rightly say, your body is doing THE most amazing thing. Something that many people can only wish to go through.
    As difficult as what it is to accept the changes, believe me, I am right there with you on struggling, you have to see it for what it is and, within reason, allow yourself to just go with it. :)
    I personally was anxious throughout my second pregnancy as I knew the hardwork that would follow to get myself back to my 'happy place' with my body/weight.
    It's amazing how stupid your pre-baby body hangs ups seem when your pregnant/after pregnancy. I'd love to have that body back! lol

    Caroline.x
    www.carolineelgeywhite.com

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